Jillian Needs to Sit Down, Lizzo Can Stand Proud

I’m sure Lizzo is still standing and isn’t going anywhere, and I know she doesn’t need anyone to tell her to stand tall, but I needed to say it. This isn’t a topic that I weigh in on easily (yes, pun intended). I am overweight and have been most of my life. I adore Lizzo, because she has confidence that I have never had. I wish I could love my body the way that it is, but I tend to fall on the side of what Jillian Michaels has said. My body is unhealthy, therefore I should not glorify it. The problem is, Jillian is wrong.

If you are not overweight, you cannot know what our day to day experience is like. There are enough people, particularly in the US, telling overweight people that we are not beautiful and that we are not worthy. Yes heart disease and diabetes and the risks of other illnesses are a problem, but not feeling beautiful is never going to help that get any better. It also should be said that people can be thin and still get heart disease and diabetes, I’m pretty sure Bob Harper can speak to that. 

 The other thing is, Jillian wasn’t just speaking against Lizzo‘s body, but she was speaking out of turn, and disrespecting Lizzo‘s black culture. In black Culture full-figured women are respected and appreciated much more than in white culture. When I was studying in Ghana, the men there would always tell me how beautiful I was, and it was disconcerting because I wasn’t used to it. I was used to the unattainable standard, practically anorexic, airbrushed, impossible measurement of a woman’s beauty. I was used to men yelling at me out of cars that I was a “FAT BITCH”.  I was used to people telling me that if I would just lose weight I would be able to get a man. Doesn’t really help, when you’re gay, but that’s another topic, for another day.

The bottom line is that there is an intersectionality that needs to be part of the discussion, because it is a very white American judgment to say that being thin dictates your worth. I have so much praise for Lizzo, because she is showing young girls all over the world, that beauty comes in all sizes. We absolutely need that to be taught to our kids. They must know that size doesn’t dictate your worth.

 My other problem with what Jillian was saying, is that being overweight isn’t always the problem. Sometimes it’s the side effect. I have lupus and fibromyalgia. I used to be over 100 pounds lighter, going to the gym 5 to 6 days a week. Then one day I couldn’t get out of bed. It got worse and worse, and now it’s an inverted climb, instead of just an uphill battle, trying to lose this weight. As I struggled to get any doctor to pay attention, I had to learn the hard way that doctors can be fat phobic too. They will just say you need to lose weight. Well, losing weight isn’t going to make me absorb iron better.  I am so iron deficient, that I have to get iron infusions. I’ve got a list of doctors a mile long, and it took me a long time to get ones who would take my diseases seriously and stop tagging everything as just a weight problem. There is more going on, and because of it, losing the weight isn’t just a simple proposition.

In the meantime, hating my body is not going to get me anywhere. I am a happy person, who will often sing show tunes around my house, while taking to my cats. I have no use for putting myself down constantly, and I would much prefer to see myself in Lizzo’s reflection than Jillian’s. I may have weight to lose, I may decide at some point that I’m happy where I am, even if that’s not as thin as Jillian would like me to be. Regardless I don’t have use for anyone telling me that I shouldn’t see myself as beautiful and that I shouldn’t metaphorically lift myself up and be happy with who I am.

Thank you Lizzo, for all that you do for girls around the world. Thank you for what you do for me. You make me smile and you make me feel empowered. I wish you had been around when I was growing up. Keep being you and keep doing you. Thanks for your expertise in fitness Jillian, but I think I’m all set with your fat shaming.

Someone Get Me a Damn Map to Mordor

Considering the last post, and now with this one, I might have to rename this blog image ranted.  Yep. This is another rant.

This time it’s about some health care issues I’ve had to tangle with in the last week.  What I am about to lay out isn’t even centered around my physical or mental health issues. It’s entirely because the health care industry, in the United States, is structured against people.  I don’t want to call us patients, because if things worked differently, so many of us wouldn’t be considered active patients.

I have to preface, that I was diagnosed with lupus about 10 years ago, and with fibromyalgia about 7 years ago. I have spent years hitting the high deductible on my insurance, just to keep a status quo. I have been on gabapentin (neurotin), which is a nerve blocker. I was up to 1,500mg a day at the height of my prescription. I have also been on cyclobenzaprine (flexeril), which is a muscle relaxer. Since I was diagnosed, I have been searching and looking for anything that can help me address the pain, so I can get off these pills.  

This year, I made a decision that instead of hitting my deductible, on maintaining this shitty status quo, I would invest in different therapies and methods to attempt to address my chronic pain and fatigue in more natural ways.  I started by going to an upper cervical chiropractor. A friend contacted me on facebook, telling me that one had drastically helped her with pain issues.  I researched the science behind it, and decided to give it a try.  Most ucc’s don’t take insurance because they are such a niche practice and fighting with insurance companies is too costly for them.  I tried to submit a bill, on their recommendation that my insurance might still accept it. I found out that I have an out-of-network deductible, which is independent of my in-network deductible, and it is slightly more. This means I would need to submit expense receipts for that amount, and have them denied, before they might kick something in. I’ve spent $1,300 on this so far.

I started stepping down to gabapentin.  I had previously pulled back from the 1,500mg to 900mg, because it was making me dizzy all the time.  I am now down to 300mg.  I have a massive stash waiting to go to a drug drop off, because they gave me so many. Yes I have more pain, more of the day, but I was in pain no matter what.  I want off these meds.

I also wanted to find a nutritionist. I went to my insurance website, to look up my plan and see if a nutritionist was covered under my plan. It seemed they were, but only for certain things.  I called my insurance and asked them if I could get a pre-estimate. They said no. They said I would need to go to a nutritionist, incur a bill, and then they would see based on the code the nutritionist put in.  I asked which code was covered. Shockingly, they wouldn’t tell me. (yes, that’s sarcasm)

I finally decided to throw the dice and go.  In our first session, she told me I was going to be covered. Apparently, she came prepared and knew the answer.  I liked her already! I would be covered for one, 1 hour visit, once a month for a year. Opioids, they hand out like candy. Nutritionists are what they are stingy on.  Don’t want us too healthy!  This would still be an out of pocket cost, but at the price negotiated by my insurance.

My new nutritionist had gone over my forwarded medical records and found my doctors neglected to order 9 different blood tests that she thought might either rule out or explain some of my issues. She said she would request that my primary doctor submit the order for those tests, and that I should get a pre-estimate, so I know how much they will cost.  We discussed some other things, and planned to reconvene in a month, hopefully after I’ve taken these tests.  

Tuesday morning, I saw in my online medical chart, that the tests had been ordered. I copied out all the names of the tests, and signed into my health insurance website.  I started a chat and asked if they could help me identify an estimate of the cost.  The customer service rep informed me that they could look up a range of the costs, but that it would depend on where I went. I responded that I would appreciate any info they could give.  In the end, they were able to give me a range for 5 of the 9.  They also gave me a link to Fair Health Consumer, a website where I could look up this stuff, and hopefully get some information. 

They also recommended that I contact the lab, so I did that next.  I called the specific lab, within the network of labs that I could go to. The person I spoke with said they couldn’t help me with costs, but gave me 3 different numbers that were the lab network’s billing or billing type departments. I called the first one, and they gave me another number, but also offered to transfer me to them. They informed me that I needed to give them the 5 digit billing codes.

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Do I look like someone who works for your labs? What 5 digit codes? They said I needed to contact my doctor or… my health insurance.  Awesome.  I then message my doctor. “Thanks for ordering the tests. Can you please give me the 5 digit codes? I need them so I can get a pre-estimate for the cost, so that I can budget the expense.”  I always get a response from the Doctor, himself.  Understandably, a nurse or support staff responded.  She told me that I should ask my nutritionist.

I’m getting a little done now. I’ve spent way too long on something that should have been provided without me even asking. I told my boss about all of this, and he likened it to grocery shopping. It’s not like you go through the store, fill up your cart, and then find out the cost when you ring out. You know going in, what the cost will be. It’s actually law, that they have to have the cost listed. This prevents them from charging one person a different price, than another person. Fair pricing. What a novel idea.

Nevertheless, I message my nutritionist, even though I’m guessing she won’t know them.  As I predict, she responds that she doesn’t have any access, and the doctor’s office certainly should.  The nutritionist couldn’t even order the tests. My doctor had to. So I respond back to the nurse or support staff and convey that I confirmed my nutritionist can not help. I mention that since the doctor can order the tests, I would hope they would know what codes they are, and to please help me identify them.

I have not heard back.

I then check out that aforementioned website.  It looks like this site has codes!!!! I start looking up each test.  Problem is some of the don’t match the exact name. They are these super sciency names. If you can’t tell by now, my heart is liberal arts. I love and respect science, but it’s like speaking another language.  I had no way to know which code was the right one, for multiple of the tests. I guess I’m waiting.

This morning, I decided to call my doctor’s office and see if I might get somewhere talking to someone, instead of waiting to see if I would get a response to my 2nd request for the codes. They informed me that this isn’t something they are familiar with either.  They were researching, but said there was another number I could call.  It was one of the extra numbers I was given yesterday, but had been told it was just another lab network billing number.  The person I spoke with, at my doctor’s office, explained that this number was a mailbox. No one would answer the phone. You leave a message with what you want a cost estimate for, and they apparently call you back.

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Yeah, I’m back there again.  You’re telling me, I call this number, leave a long ass message with my name, my phone number, and a list of all 9 tests (at least 1 of which I don’t know how to pronounce) and someone will magically call me with all my info, in some indeterminate amount of time? Seriously?  You sure I don’t need to write a wish on a piece of paper, leave it under a rock, sacrifice a chicken under a full moon, and wait for my cat to tell me the codes, so I can get the keys to the kingdom?

I proceed to google the phone number, because this seemed ridiculous. I end up finding a website explaining that you can call that number or send an email.  I opt to send the email, so I don’t have to wonder if my voice mail was audible or garbled or whatever.  I could copy the exact names of the tests into the email.  I sent that off this morning.

And now I wait.

Let’s be clear. My new nutritionist requested those tests last Friday. It’s now the end of the day on Wednesday, and I still can’t get the codes or a price estimate for these 9 tests. My real frustration is that this system is fighting me. It’s not just against me, or for those profiting off it. They are fighting to keep in the dark, even on being able to budget these expenses.

I have been fighting for my quality of life, and for my health, for a long time.  I am overweight and I have a lot to work on, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve quality care. I also should be able to budget for this cost. I shouldn’t have to fight to be able to budget the massively expensive health care, that I’m paying for, out of pocket.

Some might wonder why I’m going through all of this, instead of just going. I need the tests, so “it is what it is”, right?  Yes and no.  Lupus and fibromyalgia comes with an onslaught of symptoms that can come and go. That means seeing different doctors for different reasons.  Years ago, I was having issues where my legs felt like something was biting them or shocking them, particularly late at night when I was trying to sleep. I called my Rheumatologist, and saw the Nurse practitioner.  She wanted me to see a Neurologist.  I already had one.

Once there, they wanted to order some blood tests and do a series of shock tests.  I got the blood tests done, and then went for the shock tests.  When I finished the tests, they told me at check out that the bill for the shock tests (not including the blood tests) would be $1,600. I was floored. No one thought to warn me??!?!?! I had to open a care credit card (I loathe them) as I forgot to bring my bags and bags of money with me. As long as I paid it off in the year, I would have 0% interest. If I went 1 day over the term, all the interest (something like 20%) would be tacked on.

I just want to prevent being caught in a situation like that again. Even if I can’t prevent the cost, I’d rather know up front, so I can prepare as much as possible. I don’t know why the health care industry wouldn’t want me to be able to do that. Oh wait. I do. They don’t work for me. They work for their CEOs and investors.

It’s often said that our health care industry is built to serve the providers. It benefits insurance providers, pharmaceutical companies, private hospitals, and certain areas of medical practice (some more than others).  What we don’t explicitly say, is that they are actively working against the people. They make the process a boondoggle, so there is no transparency, and so that we can’t see the whole picture.  They are working against our health and our quality of life. They are also working against our financial health.

Not for nothing, but this isn’t exactly a stress reliever.

I’ll post back when I get some answers.


I got a response from the email I found on that site, saying the tests would only cost $140, so I am good to go!  Now, was that so hard?

What a Pain

Governor Cuomo,
I need to ask you and the NY State Legislature to address the prohibitive laws on medical marijuana in our state. This is my experience, as a New York state resident, who has a current prescription for medical marijuana.
First off, I have fibromyalgia and lupus. These are the diseases that include widespread neuropathy and make me a candidate for a medical marijuana prescription. I had to see a doctor, separate from all the doctors I already see, because doctors have to jump through hoops just to be able to prescribe the medication.  It’s not being treated like any other medical prescription in so many ways, and the result is that the burden is being put on patients.
It took me about a month to get the card, having had to send all my records to this new doctor, just to get approved. The 1 visit to see that doctor cost me $200.  I have a $2,600 high deductible for my insurance, and that’s important to note. Every expense I undertake will either go toward that, or it will end up going against my $2,850 out of network deductible, or not count toward anything. My prescription card is only valid for 1 year, so I have to do this again every year. I don’t have to do this for any other medication I take. Not for gabapentin, which has many bad side effects. Not for flexil, prilosec; none of them.
Once I could finally get this prescription, I had to make an appointment online, with the only dispensary in my entire city, across the county. They are only open at times I am at work, and I can only go to them. They will deliver the prescription, but they charge $20 more for that service. I believe they have a monopoly in our state, and is the only option for New York residents, to get medical marijuana.
When I went to the dispensary, I had to put my prescription card, certificate and license, up to a camera, to even get let in the door. That let me into a double doorway. From here, I had to slide all the aforementioned identification and cards into a bank tellers slot, before I would be let into the waiting room.  Once in the waiting room, I am given a laminated list of things I cannot do at the dispensary, including recording anything on your phone. An armed guard takes your identification and cards, and escorts you into another room with the pharmacists, where you can get your prescription filled.
This isn’t oxycontin, it’s not an opioid. It doesn’t even get you high. It’s mostly an anti-inflammatory remedy and is completely mild. If there were commercials for medical marijuana the side effects would be so few, most wouldn’t think it was a commercial for prescription medicine.
There are 3 blends, and that is it. The pharmacists will recommend you try all 3, to find the one that helps you the most, and that’s it. I opted for the tincture version and a 50/50 blend to start.  The tincture is the dropper that you put under your tongue. There is a pill form, but that is more expensive and takes longer to take effect.  There is also a vape pen, but the pain relief doesn’t last as long, so you may end up using it more often.  The suggested (max) dose is .5 ml 2 x a day.  The tincture bottle is 7 ml and that means 1 bottle will last 1 week.  A bottle is around $50. That means costs around $200 a month.
Of course, I have insurance and I’m responsible, so I contribute $2,000 a year to my HSA. But none of that makes a difference.  At this only dispensary, this only choice I have to get my prescription filled, I can only pay cash or debit card. I can’t use my HSA.  They just started allowing users to use their care credit card, which is great. Now I can get a credit card, and rack up debt.  Thanks for that. But I can’t use my HSA card, and the cost doesn’t get processed through my insurance and it won’t count against my $2,600 deductible.
The reason I’m bringing this to your attention, is that the medical marijuana does help a lot.  I have taken to only using it sparingly, because the cost and the process to refill is so prohibitive. I use it on the weekends, or when I want to get some house work done.  I used it yesterday, to re-arrange my bedroom. After about 4 or so hours, my pain started to creep back in, and I knew the meds had worn off. If the medicine was more affordable, and easier to refill, I would have taken another dose, so that the residual pain from living a quality life, didn’t have to be so bad.
This is not an addictive drug. It doesn’t even alter your mind. It eases pain and allows people with chronic pain to live a fuller life. Yet for some reason, it is treated like a dangerous narcotic. I had surgery last year, and was given a script of 40 opioid pills. I still have more than 35 of them.  No doctor took any steps to make sure I didn’t over use them. They were handed out like candy.
Medicine is being prescribed and controlled in a backwards fashion in this country, and this state.  I’m bringing this to you, because you can improve this at the state level. You can make it so that the burden and expense isn’t being placed on the patient. You can make it so that this is more affordable, gets processed through my insurance, can be processed through HSA, that more dispensaries and more competition are allowed and encouraged in our state, and that people like me don’t have to ration what is primarily a completely non-addictive, anti-pain and anti-inflammatory med.
Please make this a priority. Cut the red tape, and help New Yorkers with chronic pain.

Journaling The Art of Psyching Yourself Out

Last week I had lofty plans to transition from going to the gym 4 days a week to training on the road.  I am running a 10K this Sunday, and riding 40 miles in the Tour de Cure in June.  Not to mention some 5Ks in between the two.

As we cannot control the timing of extraneous circumstances, I am in the middle of a sleeping study.  I have insomnia, and I take melatonin and a sleep aid to get “some” sleep at night.  It’s not fantastic, but better than what I call counting tiles on the ceiling all night.  This study is not the kind where I go into a facility, and sleep while people watch me through a glass window.  “She keeps picking a wedgie.  Maybe she should get boxers…”

I have learned that when it comes to sleep centers, the rule is that if you have insomnia, there isn’t much to watch.  Even though I am on meds that help me to fall asleep, they can’t do a sleep study (through insurance) unless they think I have sleep apnea, which they do not think I have.  This study is more psychological.  I keep a journal chronicling my energy levels, stress, pain, activity (minutes), napping (minutes), alcoholic drinks, time I go to bed and time I wake up.  Once I wake up, I log how many times I woke up (best recollection), how long it took to get back to sleep (total for all times woken up), time spent out of bed, etc.

Then we go over how to modify my behavior to try to make the window of sleep I get, better. This week, we went over my first 2 week journal.  My doctor believes (and I agree) that I am drifting in and out of consciousness, and not getting “restful” sleep.  Unfortunately insurance won’t cover an in facility sleep study for us to confirm that.  So we are continuing with this behavioral one.  I may sound a bit of an open book, disclosing all this.

My father was a psychologist.  I grew up with the understanding of the mental and emotional effect on the physical.  I do therefore, abhor the concept of being psychoanalyzed, put into a box and reduced to a series of diagnoses based on your actions.  “Well, when she put down that cup, her head was tilted.  Ahah!  She has blah blah blah disorder.”  Ummm, thanks, but no thanks.  Despite my resistance to that particular aspect of psychology, I do have a great appreciation for ruling out the mental and emotional factors that can effect our physical well-being. If I really want to better my situation, it is on me to be open about anything that could be affecting my sleep and my health. 

Over the years a lot of my physical diagnoses have been auto-immune related.  Anyone who has experience with auto-immune disorders will be familiar with the results that there are not many cures.  Many of the treatments are behavioral.  We can either resent this and be stubborn, not fixing anything, or we can be pro-active and go after everything we can to better our situation.  I am trying to do the latter, despite how addressing mental and emotional issues is annoying and carries a stigma in society.

Back to this last week, and the results of my first journal.  One thing we agreed on is that my sleep medicine is affecting our results.  Because my sleep doctor is not an MD, she needed me to discuss weening off the medicine, with my prescribing doctor. She was concerned that my doctor might just say to stop it completely.  He of course did.  Because I want to get to the bottom of this, so I can actually get some sleep at night, I went with it and stopped the meds.  The sleep doctor said I could keep the melatonin.  To be honest, I was more concerned about stopping that, because it’s the only thing that helps me to fall asleep.  The other stuff just keeps me from constantly waking back up (somewhat).

So of course, I am trying to get myself to wake up at 5:00 AM, and not go to the gym like I have gotten myself into the discipline of doing. Instead I wanted to go out for a run on the road, so that I can be in the practice of running out on the streets, vs on a treadmill.  I also wanted to practice on my new hybrid, as opposed to my spinning classes.  The differences are extremely significant.

What happened was that I ended up getting really crappy sleep most of the week.  It was to be expected.  The best  I can describe, it is like I am resting in my bed, close to being asleep.  I have loose dreams, but I am aware that I am in my bed the whole time.  I drift in and out of getting to that point of sleep.  It’s almost like the minute I am going to fall asleep, I wake myself up and drift off again.  This leads to my alarm going off, and me feeling like I got a really bad nap, as opposed to a night of restful sleep. As a result, I snooze and snooze and snooze, not getting out of bed to go for a run or a ride.  I reset my alarm and over sleep, having wasted my morning. 

On Wednesday night, I went out to dinner with my brother.  He wanted to go out for my birthday.  Since we haven’t gone out in years, just the two of us, I was pretty excited to get to see him.  He mentioned that I motivated him to start running again and that he has been getting up early and going for runs outside. That was pretty cool.  I love hearing that I motivate people, and my brother is definitely someone who I am glad to have a positive influence on.

I started to realize, after I got home, that I needed my motivation on others to get back to having that effect on me.  I needed to re-motivate myself and despite the bad sleep I was getting, I needed to get out there.  I had to look at my snoozing and not getting up as more than just not getting decent sleep.  What else could it be?  I started to consider what would make me not want to go outside for a run, or a ride.  I am fine with going to the gym.  Then I started to think, I am scared of it.  I don’t know why, but then I do.  The minute I allowed myself to consider that there could be fear over doing it, I was able to see where it might come from.

What if I hurt myself (pot holes, bad knees, anything that might happen out on those dangerous roads)?  What if I can’t run as far as I need to for the 10K?  What if I can’t ride the 40 miles and I can’t keep my commitment?  What if it’s dangerous out there and I get hit by a car or something?

OK, I let myself go through those fears.  That’s enough.  I just wish I had let myself go through those earlier.   Thursday morning I got up, despite the bad sleep.  I went for a run, and ended up completing 6.3 miles.

I don’t see a way to post a run from mapmyrun to my blog, so here is a pic.  
Pretty cool!
Friday I didn’t get up again, which may have been residual fear of riding a bike so early in the morning, on top of the bad sleep.  Saturday I did get out for a ride.  Last year at the Tour de Cure, I had my mountain bike and committed to riding 25 miles.  Since I went to spinning twice a week, I didn’t think it would be that bad.  The course was all hills, I had to walk most, and I was so sore by the end that I was fighting the tears.  I found out that my mountain bike, weighing about 50 lbs and with big thick tires was a huge problem.  So I bought a hybrid this year.
But concern still remained.  What if  the hybrid didn’t help all that much?  What if riding out on the road, as opposed to a blocked off course without traffic, really was dangerous?
OK, that’s enough time on those external factors, which I can’t control or predetermine.  I wanted to ride to my brother and sister-in-law’s place (hereto referred as my sil…). My sil and I had talked about going for a ride together from her place.   I didn’t tell them I was coming in case it was too hard for me to make the complete trip, or if for some reason I just didn’t make it.  This would be a dry run of sorts.  I did end up making it there. Said hi, refilled the water, and went back towards my place.

I was hoping to go to the market, but it would close just about when I got there.  I was close to 20 miles and since that would be 1/2 the tour, I thought it would be great to make it that far in this training ride.  Made the decision to ride there anyway, even if the market would be closed.  It ended up that places were still open.  I got to grab perogies from the perogie guy, red peppers (plan to make stuffed peppers tonight), blueberries, strawberries, tomatoes and green beans.  I so love the market!  

I rode back home, and as I got there I was into 18 miles.  I rode around the block (enjoying the silliness of passing my house, with my market goods on my back) and ended up getting myself to 20 miles.

I also love mapmyrun for giving me those markers, so I would knew where I was, distance wise.
I felt great when I got back.  I still had energy, so I mowed my lawn.  Afterwards, I realized that one concern had been overlooked.
Forgot the suntan lotion.  Got an iphone strap, anyone???
I used it as a warning to my nieces and nephews, not to fight mommy and daddy when they go to put sun tan lotion on.  They were feeling the heat off my arms all weekend.
Hey, after all this talk of the Tour de Cure, I would be remiss if I didn’t ask for donations.  Please consider sponsoring me, and passing along my page to friends and family.  I really appreciate it.  It’s a total motivator! 😉
Click that link right there to go to my sponsor page!  If you would rather send me a check, that is fine too! 

Spoons and Holes

I read an article about lupus and spoons. I will post it later. The end result is that when my alarm went off this morning, at 5:00am, I snooze for 10 minutes. 10 minutes of trying to reason how I could cancel my day and sleep til tomorrow. Of course that would become the next day, and the next and the next. My laundry list of to-do’s jumped through my head and I got up at the next snooze. It was like pulling a freight train with your muscles not flexed.

Since I gained 5 lbs at the conference last week, I am determined to get back on track. I also need to not overwhelm myself with the need to work out as much as I want to. It is a contradiction, I know. I want to work out for hours, but it overwhelms my system.

I did less today, but it is part of me scaling back, while still being active. I hope to phase back some of the length of my workouts and eventually add another day. So, the goal is to get activity in 5-6 days a week. Instead of 2 hrs 4 x a week, it will be more like 1 hr 5 x a week.

Stats for today:
Spinning 56 min – 497 cal
Abs challenge 22 min – 115 cal
Total 1 hr 18 min – 612 cal

Here is the blog I was reading:
Operation Deflate My Buddah (Love the title)

She references this article:
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

I don’t have it as bad as her, but I totally get the lack of spoons!  Oddly enough, I encountered something interesting this morning.  After my workout, I decided to go into the steam room, before my shower.  I usually don’t like these, because it gets hard for me to breath, before I am in there for very long.  I wondered what the benefits actually are, for sitting in a steam room.

So of course, I looked it up:

Benefits of a Steam Room

I have to say, I stayed in there about 5-10 minutes, past that initial dis-comfort I had.  I made myself breath in and out, in and out.  Upon leaving, it was as if there were spoons in my lungs, my skin, and my muscles.  It was great.  Of course, I used up some showering and getting to work, but I still feel better than I did waking up, and pushing the proverbial boulder through my workout.

I may just have to add this into my routine more often.